March 10, 2011


It seems like all these feelings I've been trying to keep a lid on are overwhelming me. Ever since I left California, there's this terrible yearning and bitterness I can't shake. It's only been 10 days, but it feels like so much longer than that. At the airport I had no choice but to pull myself together, and a few days after coming back it seemed like I was starting to be okay with being here. Then when I have nothing left to occupy myself with, all the memories and feelings and everything else sneak up on me. I still have so much to do here. I've been putting off getting a driver's license since I was 16, so I really need to get that situated. Also, due to financial matters, I would pretty much get a free ride through any college in the state if I chose to. I realize that both of those things are imperative and anyone else in their right mind would be all over it, but god damnit. I don't want to be stuck here for 4 more years. These thoughts have been swimming in my head for longer than I'd like, and I need to make a decision about something soon. Maybe it'll be a goal or something. All I want is to be back in San Francisco with the wind and the vicious seagulls and my heart.

 Gah.Suppose it was time for one of these venting posts. Starting a blog means these things are an inevitability. Hopefully I'll get back to my dream logs soon enough.


  1. Keep yourself busy and hopefully you'll be able to get back there soon!

  2. Chaos indeed, but like paranormal says just endure, and your return shall be that of a Conqueror